I went to the perinatal specialist yesterday. My doctor referred me, I thought just to cover that base and be thorough. I thought after the ultrasound I had a couple weeks ago that I was in the clear. But the specialist said yesterday, and I quote, "You're really far from being out of the woods." After doing the ultrasound the specialist told me that I have a blood clot in my uterus. And he said he's only once seen the baby survive when the mom had a clot so big. Only once. It was a fuzzy few minutes for me because I had never experienced receiving bad news from a doctor before. I've only ever been completely healthy. In fact, at my appointment the other day with my regular doctor, she called me boring. So hearing that my little baby is in danger, especially after seeing her move around on the ultrasound, was heartbreaking. The specialist told me I have to be off my feet as much as possible. I kind of laughed and said, "Bed rest?" He said, "Well, yes. But you've got 3 kids." He's right, I do, and that obviously presents a challenge. I could be wrong, but I sort of got the impression that he didn't feel as urgent about this as if I had been further along. Like it won't be that big a deal if I do lose the baby at this point. But for me, it's just as big a deal now as it ever would be. I want to do everything I can to help this baby survive. So, I've got to figure out what my resources are, and use the hell out of them (I really just want my mommy). And now that I can think straight I have some more questions for the specialist: can't I just take a blood thinner? is my health in danger, or just the baby's? I haven't quite gotten my legs under me after reeling from the news. So today I'm staying off my feet as much as possible, and then Chris and I need to make a plan. That's all I got so far.